56344

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a Barbie Doll with the Pillsbury Doughboy Some rich know-it-all bitch with a yeast infection"

"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he ate pizza before it was cool."

"What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes? The chemist may frown."

"[first date] her: so, tell me about yourself! me: well, im not good with dates her: but you're doing fine! me: christmas is on september 3rd"

"Judge: You need supervision. Me: [Imagines toasting toast at a slightly increased rate with laser eyes] YES! Do it now robed wizard."

"Why do Russians love Pho so much? Because they're so...viet."

"What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you."

"Why do they call a horse a horse? Because they speak English."

"How do golfers get away with cheating? The unfairway"