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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a french person masturbating? Jacques-ing off."

"You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!"

"Does anyone on here know how to ""unhook"" Amazon from my Twitter so that I can order things without giving people the idea I am Really bald??"

"I was really missing school But I collected myself, took a few deep breaths, focused, reloaded my gun, and started nailing the little bastards."

"Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*"

"What did the student say to his math teacher after his dog ate part of his homework? I got 99 problems, but a bitch ate one."

"Just confused cereal with rat poison...I don't know if to wait till I'm sober to do something about it or not?"

"Saw It Of all the saws that I have seen saw, I never saw a saw saw like this saw saws. If you go thru Arkansas and see a saw that can out-saw the saw that I saw saw, I'd like to see that saw saw!"

"This blonde is so stupid she called me to get my telephone number!"

"What do you call a rooster drawing sh*t? Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"