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Joke of the Day
"What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant."
Next Joke
"I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn. Edit: thanks for the gold! It's my first!"
"What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's? Baby's because you can use a pitchfork"
"What is something that Ronda Rousey and myself both have in common? We only last 48 seconds."
"One day Joaquin Phoenix will be bitten by a zombie... ...and he will be called the Joaquin Dead"
"Ugh, I accidentally spoiled the new Spider-Man movie for myself by seeing ""Spider-Man"" 10 years ago."
"I like my women like I like my computer Turned on On my lap And virus free"
"The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls"
"cop: ""sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood"" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: ""ok that's better"""
"Russian joke ""Daddy I want an ice cream."" ""I want an ice cream too, son. But we only have enough money for vodka."""