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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you are looking for your Subaru Forrester in a parking garage? Finding Forrester"

"I went to a Black Supremacy party last night, and I have to say it really wasn't all that bad. It was definitely cracka lackin'."

"Looks like it's time to start pretending Andy Murray isn't Scottish again..."

"Mgmt: What makes you qualified for this job? Me: Because i work for less and good at licking. Mgmt: You're hired."

"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"The worst part of taking calc class Every day, I deal with my e^x"

"What's worse than two babies in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters."

"I'm not very good at baking... my friend said to stick with it dough, it'll pan out in the end."

"Thank God for semi colon's. How would I have ever been able to flirt if they didn't exist?"

"Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles."