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Joke of the Day
"What do vegetarians masturbate to? Quornography."
Next Joke
"I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber?"
"Wife texts husband 'Windows frozen', husband texts wife 'try bucket of warm water', wife texts husband 'computer not working at all now'"
"What's the motto of the Greek army? Never leave your buddy's behind."
"Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart."
"I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment."
"I was standing outside their school waiting for the kids to finish, when a parent came up and asked ""So which one is yours?"" I replied ""Not sure, haven't decided yet""."
"Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?"
"[1st day in hell] Devil: Your damnation will be that you are a shoe model for all eternity. Me: That's it? D: *hands me orange Crocs*"
"I'd kill a two-year-old... ...to get with Casey Anthony"