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Joke of the Day

"What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink? Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!"

"I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back."

"What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne"

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? One can't, but two can."

"What do you call really clear urine? 1080p"

"M$ forever! [oneliner] The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, is the day they make a vacuum cleaner."

"A vegan, a priest, & a rabbi walk into a bar. The vegan pretty much just blabs on & on about how he's a vegan for the next hour. The end."

"OC: after talking with my buddy, I thought of this. how do you know if some does crossfit? They''ll tell you."

"A Canadian and a Saudi Arabian had a baby... They named it Yasir Youbetcha"

"I once borrowed a pro-life campaigner's laptop. The desktop was filled with accidentally-created New Folder icons."