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Joke of the Day

"What do grapefruit and vaginas have in common? The pinker the better and they're both an acquired taste."

"Those Valentine's Day displays at the entrance of every store are like surprise parties for your loneliness."

"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."

"What did the cannibal ask for at the cruiseline buffet? The passenger list."

"Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus!"

"Muslims are a lot like breakfast eggs. If they aren't Sunni side up, they're probably Shiite."

"A third-party vote walks out of a bar... He says ""Wow, I'm wasted."""

"[getting escorted out of zoo] ""I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"""

"Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ""hole."" Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq."

"What do you call a one legged woman? Eileen"