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Joke of the Day
"What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend? ""Umami!"""
Next Joke
"What did one gay man say to another gay man at the bar? May I push in your stool"
"Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
"What flavor do termites like best? Chair-y"
"House is a good doctor. He's also got a good heart. He should let his friends see the real him. But he's scared."
"If you're anxious and you know it...Clasp your hands."
"My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them ""What's that?"", I replied, ""Dracula's retarded brother?"""
"Why put it in my calendar when I can just wait until someone texts me ""Where the hell are you?"""
"Wanna know why santa doesn't have any children It's because he cums once a year and its down your chimney"
"What do you get when you cross Adolf Hitler with a tree? A cunttree"