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Joke of the Day

"Someone needs to tell every movie and tv show that no cell phone beeps when you hit the ""answer call"" button."

"they played Twist,so I twisted. they played Jump, so I jumped. they played Come on Eileen ... and I was banned for life"

"Why did Willow Smith whip her hair? Because it has been very knotty. Apologies in advance"

"[Excavation for dino bones] DIGGER: Sir, we found something BIG! DOG PALEONTOLOGIST: *tail wags* Ok go for break [salivating] I'll finish up"

"If I had $1 every time somebody called me a racist... Black people would rob me!"

"The problem with ""We, the People"" is mostly you, the people."

"Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny? Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other."

"What do you call a 100 year old frog ? An old croak !"

"I'm well known for my twice-baked potatoes. I can't get anything right the firstr time"

"""The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."""