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Joke of the Day
"I went to see a psychic today She said she was expecting me"
Next Joke
"Another International Ninja Day went completely unnoticed."
"(Shaq wakes up, steps in front of the green screen in his bedroom, knocks out 20-30 commercials, begins his day.)"
"My boss dropped a pen, bent to pick it up, my b-ball instincts took over, I slapped his ass, said 'nice hustle' & now I need a new job."
"Spent the entire day trying not to look at porn... It was so hard."
"I went hardcore camping last weekend. Let's just say, it was intense."
"Your eyes say ""No, no!"" but your ball gag says...""Mmmph! Mmmph!"" Whatever, you have a boner so that's really all the affirmation I need."
"WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly 12 a stone ME: WIFE: 312 kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool"
"[nerdy] A new shoe slogan ""Be happy, and you will buy Converse!"""
"With a name like Progressive, shouldn't the commercials be better by now?"