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Joke of the Day

"Her: I'm sorry my baby keeps crying. He's got teeth coming in. Me: Well, don't worry, I'll sign for them..."

"I was discussing a trip to Chernobyl with my friend... He said not to go there or else Chernobyl fall off."

"Why Don't I Have Laugh Lines? Because I never smile. :("

"The very first joke I ever learned as a kid. How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A Buccaneer. (Wah, wah, wah, waaaaahhhhh)"

"I want to live the kind of life that when St. Peter looks over my list of sins he gives me a high-five before he sends me to hell."

"What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person? Leaving a plunger in the toilet."

"Why was the manipulative ghost so unsuccessful? People could see right through him."

"""Why did you dry these grapes?"" ""No raisin"""

"I'm looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga"

"What's different for Sean Connery when he has sex with his wife or with a prostitute? It's the shame."