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Joke of the Day

"iPhone changed miles to milf's but the good news is my dad thinks I only have 177 left to go until I'm done."

"I didn't sleep a wink last night because my neighbor was screaming her head off. I think she doesn't like my basement."

"What's the difference between kindergarteners and /r/Jokes? Kindergarteners are creative."

"Now that Donald Trump having a real shot at the presidency, who is most afraid? Every Juan!"

"Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years."

"Why is heaven a paradise for the common man? Because all the politicians are in hell."

"They say travel broadens the mind... Except for Americans, where it just seems to widen the arse (Jimmy Carr)"

"Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel."

"Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak."

"If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone"