5565

Joke of the Day

"I've seen: UFOs Ghosts A Two Headed Turtle Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent."

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"HER:He doesn't trust me. THERAPIST:How so? HER:He's always spying on me. ME (dressed as Therapist):Really? THERAPIST:WTF HER:WTF ME:WTF"

"I use to be addicted to the Hokie Pokie.... but I turned myself around."

"I told my lawyer I wanted to seek the death penalty against my wife. He said that's not how a divorce works."

"What is green and smells like bacon? ... Kermit's finger"

"If I were Brian Cranston every day I'd drive to Jiffy Lube & say ""I dunno it just seems to be braking bad!"" Then we would laugh & do meth."

"What does FUN stand for? Some nights, I don't know."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see the idiot. Knock knock *Who's there?* The chicken..."