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Joke of the Day

"A baby seal walks into a bar No, wait. A baby seal walks into a club."

"I have a photographic memory But I ran out of film a long time ago"

"Why can you see through Bruce Jenner? Because he is a trans-parent."

"You'd think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won't."

"George Michael is recording a song with all the proceeds going to end sectarian violence in the Middle East. It's call ""I Want Your Sects""."

"""daddy I hear footsteps on the roof, it must be Santa"" *checks santa tracker* new zealand? *grabs frying pan and knife* go get in bed, son"

"A tried to take a photo of the fog last night. I mist."

"My girlfriend is like a bagpipe When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises."

"I told the boys at the pub that the first thing I will do if I win the lottery is buy a couple of rounds... of ammunition to keep all you losers away."

"What noise does a Russian Sheep make? It Blyats."