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Joke of the Day

"You'd think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won't."

"Your body is your temple is a really terrible proverb to promote chastity. Literally anyone can come inside a temple."

"What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon? ""IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!"""

"What's the good word? Legs. Spread the word!"

"""DIDN'T THE KIDS JUST HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL LAST MONTH!?!"" ~A parent's memoir."

"What to brussel sprouts and anal sex have in common? If they are forced on you as a child, you wont enjoy them as much as an adult"

"I like my women like I like my cars Fast, loud, used off craigslist."

"I asked the waitress if she wanted a good tip and a quickie. She said: Just the tip."

"I like walking up to any bald guy wearing sunglasses and saying ""Excuse me but I'm supposed to meet a guy named Pitbull here, are you him?"""

"I wish i was like my coffee. Rich and strong."