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Joke of the Day

"""Why don't you trust me?"", she texted both the guys simultaneously."

"I asked a terrorist how his day was going... He said it was great, his son died in a car bombing. The only problem? His son borrowed his car."

"A drummer trips and falls on a sheep, a candy brand, and then a running faucet *Baa Dum tss*"

"A man was caught having sex with the Venus de Milo... ...he was charged with statutory rape"

"what does Geico and your girlfriend have in common? Shes so easy a cave man could do her."

"Never drink water while studying It'll dilute your concentration"

"DATE: ...so that's how I ended up at Harvard Law! ME: Sometimes I make a fruit salad in my mouth by biting into different kinds of fruit LOL"

"Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks."

"Math problems for smartypants-s What is the square route of an EMU? A RADICAL EMU!!!!!!"

"What did they call Fireman Sam after he retired? ""That fat, selfish faggot that chose the pension over saving our lives."""