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Joke of the Day

"Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks."

"The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me that I can binge eat carbs and then take a two week nap and I'll become beautiful."

"Why did Churchill always beat Hitler with scissors in rock, paper, scissors? Because he knew Hitler always threw paper."

"Just went down to get my driver's license renewed but this time I made sure I was drunk for the picture. Now if I ever get pulled over for drunk driving, they'll just think I'm spastic."

"Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills."

"Why do Queenslanders call their beer, ""XXXX""? Because they can`t spell the word, beer."

"What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries? A one trip pony :D"

"Threesome? No thank you. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at once, I would go to dinner with my parents."

"here lately i've been feeling a void in my life... it's probably nothing."

"Chipotle is releasing a new ""Ravens"" burrito. It comes with everything but rice."