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Joke of the Day

"office joke It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, ""You look so gorgeous, I didn't recognize you."""

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"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words ... ""Stop shaking the fucking ladder you little cunt!"""
"According to Steve Jobs, what type is the pokemon Scizor? Feature/Borrow"
"if Lindsay Lohan can call herself an artist, I can call myself a german shepherd"
"Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry."
"If Trump becomes president... It would be the first instance of a white billionaire kicking a black family out of public housing."
"I hate it when people call me contrary. I am *not* contrary!"
"I CAN'T STAND BLACK GIRLS WITH BLONDE HAIR . LOOKING LIKE A DAMN DURACELL BATTERY"
"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, But none of them works :/"
"4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: ""I never want to do that again."""