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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words ... ""Stop shaking the fucking ladder you little cunt!"""

"What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !"

"[Request] I need a cutesy pun related to couples/love and umbrellas/rain. Sort of like ""Eiffel for you"", or ""never leaf me"" if you know what I mean. But please nothing too long :)"

"Did you hear about the blonde with tire marks on her back? She crawled across the street when the sign said ""DON'T WALK""."

"What do priests and christmas trees have in common? Their balls are just for decoration."

"With all the negativity in the world today... ...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive."

"I commonly known for arguing over what gives an object weight Some people say I'm a mass debater"

"Modern feminism."

"A Social Media Consultant walks into a bar and orders a drink. He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks."

"I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies."