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Joke of the Day
"""Hey Al, I heard you're constipated."" ""No shit."""
Next Joke
"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he just ""fell"""
"where do babies come from?? where the hell are they GOING is what i wanna know, folks!"
"One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline... We go way back."
"What do you call a nun in a car? Virgin Mobile"
"Please help me find my lost pet sloth. It was just right here and, oh, never mind, it's still right here."
"At this point, I think the people on ""The Walking Dead"" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them."
"What is the Puerto Rican national anthem? Partly in the USA"
"OBAMA IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!! ME: OMG *clutches guns* [7 years later] ME (frustratedly checking my watch): This guy is taking forever"
"I look forward to using the phrase ""I'm gonna fuck you til you're pregnant!"" in bed when we decide to have kids."