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Joke of the Day

"If you are on a low-sodium diet avoid my twitter because I AM VERY SALTY TODAY."

"If one more person asks me to do a summersault.... .......I swear I'm going to flip!!!"

"If you think you're having a bad day.. just remember, somebody is going to have Snooki as a mom"

"What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather !"

"My grandpa's a total perv My mom told me he had a stroke at my sisters dance recital!"

"You hear about the guy who had his whole left side amputated? I hear he's all right now."

"i love nature :) sittin in grass, soakin up sun, listenin to all those weird ringtones that come from those animals in the trees or whatever"

"What is ET short for? He's got little legs."

"A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad dad' he said 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've already got one' said his father !"

"What did Davy Crockett say when he showed up to the Alamo? ""What are all these landscapers doing here?"""