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Joke of the Day

"Rappers are terrible with pets: the Baja Men let their dogs out, DMX never knows where his dogs are at, and Pitbull is awful."

"I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later."

"What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium? Pandemonium breaks out."

"What did the flat iron say to the follicle? Now let me get this straight . . ."

"If I'm guilty of anything it's that I care too much, that and murder"

"The thing I most look forward to after Christmas is taking down the decorations and, for 4 minutes, it feeling like I live in a mansion."

"When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, ""Just use a fucking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."""

"Why did Hitler prefer apples to oranges? He didn't like the juice."

"What do black people drink during the Holiday Season? Nignog"

"What do you call a dehydrated French man? Pee Air"