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Joke of the Day
"Why did Hitler prefer apples to oranges? He didn't like the juice."
Next Joke
"What do you call a half Mexican half Japanese jedi master? Obi Juan Shinobi"
"Sometimes I accidentally make eye contact with someone and it's like ""well I better just go with it"" and I begin sprinting at them"
"Trying to convince my wife that the white powder on my nose is cocaine to hide the fact I've eaten a large sugary donut"
"Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!"
"It's always a shame when people die so young... there's just so many things they'll never get to Chekov their bucket list."
"Why did the noodle take a bow after the recital? He was the vermicellist"
"You know how I feel when I had sex with a rather large girl before she became extremely attractive? It's okay, because I fucked her before it was cool. *Throws on hipster glasses*"
"If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom, and Finnish when you come out; what are you while in the bathroom? European"
"Nobody likes the girl who brings the acoustic guitar guy to the party."