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Joke of the Day

"Thinking about the first person ever to get drunk. People must have been like, ""COME QUICK! JEREMIAH HAS BEEN STRICKEN WITH AWESOME!"""

"Let me tell you a pizza joke... Nevermind it's too cheesy"

"People keep asking me why I'm working for Dr Frankenstein. I'm only trying to make a living."

"No democratic debate on Christmas Day The democratic presidential hopefuls signed a statement not to debate on Christmas Day. It was a Barry Sanders-clause"

"Strictly between you and me and whatever agency these hummingbirds are reporting to, my paranoia is getting worse."

"My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny."

"Immigrants are like sperm millions get in but only one works."

"Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!"

"Comp Sci Joke I'd tell you a joke about TCP but I'd have to keep repeating it until you got it."

"What's the difference between ""a choice"" and "" to choose?"" ""A choice"" is a decision you make. ""To choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."