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Joke of the Day

"I met a guy today with a huge tumor... It was tho growth."

"Smoking is a slow death! But we're not in a hurry..."

"FBI offers to help France investigate the terrorist attacks. So far, they think North Korea is behind it."

"JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like"

"*Reads your tweets, vomits into a bucket, mails bucket to you*- see what you made me do?"

"So I put a bucket of water over the door a few days ago, and my victim remarked that it wasn't very original. Eh, maybe I was the fool."

"I went to a onesie-themed NYE party... ...everyone was appalled when I turned up wearing just a belt."

"My wife claims to be very good at yoga... but I think she's just a poser."

"My ex-girlfriend dropped this one on me a heavy box. She was trying to kill me."

"What do you call a group of lesbians from Pittsburgh? Lesbiyinz."