201867

Joke of the Day

"*Reads your tweets, vomits into a bucket, mails bucket to you*- see what you made me do?"

"I see there's going to be a new PeeWee Herman movie on Netflix. It's a good thing it won't be in theaters."

"What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"Have you heard about the guy who got frozen to the absolute freezing point? Don't worry, he's 0K now."

"What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? An ass that will bring a tear to your eye."

"Why are pills white instead of black? Because you want them to work don't you?"

"I have no problem feeding my kid something that fell on the floor, so I get it, restaurant employees."

"How can a black woman tell if she's pregnant? When she takes out the tampon the cotton is already picked"

"Do you know how a suicide wank works? You just shoot yourself in the face!"

"What's the difference between a dead prostitute and a dead German midget? A tiny pair of lederhosen on your basement floor."