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Joke of the Day

"A guy gets hit on the head by a falling soda can. But he's allright. Guess he was lucky *puts on sunglasses* It was a soft drink #FFFC"

"Did you guys hear about the scarecrow who won the nobel prize? Apparently he was out standing in his field. When asked about how he won he said, ""hay, it's in my jeans."""

"I always drink a cocktail before having sex My dad always told me ""You need a good screwdriver to really screw something""."

"I haven't seen Democrats this upset with a Republican since... A Republican took the Democrats' slaves away"

"[NSFW] A guy accidentally took sleeping pills instead of Viagra... he couldn't get up."

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch... One turns to the other and says, ""Can you smell fish?"""

"Kylo Ren: I am your father. Rey: We're roughly the same age. You're just copying everything Vader said. Kylo Ren: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"What's a bridges favourite genre of film? Suspense tion"

"Today I broke my leg but it's going tibia okay"

"There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl"