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Joke of the Day

"I'm a scientist that's researching beastiality between humans and dogs You'll find me in my lab"

"The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* ""Second rook"""

"I heard a great ""This American Life"" podcast about trolling Click bait."

"Golf and NASCAR are the only sports on television today. Looks like the opposite ends of the asshole spectrum will be happy."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"A woman was battered over breakfast ...it was waffle :("

"Unless you've been in Target with more than 1 child, you have no idea what it's like to be a lion tamer."

"I won every fight in 1st grade. Not because I was tough, because I was 13."

"THERAPIST: Well, if you know what's good for you... ME: [Holds up hand] ""Let me stop you right there"""

"How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house? Paint a goal line on your driveway."