13593

Joke of the Day

"Guy across the road can't get his truck started. Now he's rolled up his sleeves. That's how you start trucks. By rolling up your sleeves."

"What do you call a nose with no body? Nobody nose."

"Spreads legs... Nope Spreads two other legs .... Nope Spreads two others .... Dammit, no Spreads last two.... BINGO!! - spider sex"

"What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn? Your lawn won't cut itself."

"How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin? She can run faster than her brother."

"""The bad news is that you've had a stroke. The good news is that IKEA has hired you to name all their new products!"""

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected"

"The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church."

"Whenever I see someone pick up an avocado, feel it, and put it back I pick up that same avocado and whisper ""you're still beautiful"" to it."

"Knock Knock -Who's there? Come in. -Come in who? ( )"