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Joke of the Day
"""I'm proud of all the Twitter followers you've accumulated."" - none of our parents"
Next Joke
"Why Can't you fool an aborted baby Because it wasn't born yesterday."
"By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks."
"This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people."
"Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!"
"Why is Simba slower that his dad? Because his papa mufasa."
"What kind of toothpaste do MLG use? Pretty much anything, just no Scope."
"They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer."
"According to the ""you snooze you lose"" principle insomnia makes us winners."
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."