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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out? A rebel without a gauze"

"If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time."

"You know what's white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's perverted rice."

"There's three kinds of people in this world People who can count, and people who can't"

"""welcom to salad shop do u want a salad"" yes ""do u want chicken on it"" yes ""do u want bread on the side"" r u just selling unmade sandwiches"

"Did you hear about the skeleton who didn't go to prom? He had no body to go with."

"A guy once lied about being a broom on the internet... I guess OP was a bundle of sticks."

"Mother: My goodness, Jerry, who gave you that black eye? Jerry: No one gave it to me. I had to fight for it!"

"It seems like everything is made in China... ...except for babies. They're made in VaChina"

"When someone yawns, I like to yell ""Surprise Dentist!"" and stick my hand in their mouth, which is fun because I'm not really a dentist."