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Joke of the Day

"I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast."

"Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas? Because he was on the nautilust."

"I went to take an online ADHD test today... but gave up quickly because it was stupid and boring."

"[god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok... GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me"

"What's the big deal? Gay people could always get married. Just not to each other."

"Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

"Wanna up the awkward while standing in line? Turn around while you wait."

"How can a room full of couples be empty? There wasn't a single person in there."

"So my homework told me to use a table to solve the equation But I already am using a table to solve it. What, should I normally do my math on the floor?!"

"I'm the guy that starts walking away as you're giving me directions."