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Joke of the Day

"What game is in Schrodinger's Xbox? Dead or Alive"

"Why did the one-fifth go to the masseuse? Because he was two-tenths"

"I want this election to be over so badly you'd think it was a friend's play."

"So /r/The_Donald... That's it, what a joke."

"I just got my first grey hair. This is the last time I let grandma cook dinner for me."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Is fucking intense..."

"Yesterday, my dog was humping my leg So stupid, had to show him where my butthole was."

"How do you keep a turkey in suspense? ...... ...... ...... I'll get back to you in a few weeks"

"[describing criminal to sketch artist] ""No, no his nose was a bit more avant-garde than that. His eyes suggested he'd lost a ladder."""

"The Zika virus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about."