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Joke of the Day
"Why do melons insist on having big weddings? Because they just cantaloupe."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the new British period drama? They're calling it Bloody Hell."
"Donation A man knocked on my door the other day asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I have him a glass of water"
"My wife just said to me that i'm a Pedophile and it is wrong -Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for a 12 year old."
"If you play Apple's Beatle announcement backwards it says ""I can't believe you don't know how to download music illegally"""
"Infected with AIDS If someone infected with AIDS fucks everyday, what happens? They kill everything that they fuck."
"*stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*"
"Screw this! I'm going to leave the original joke making to the professionals! Dane Cook... Amy Schumer... Carlos Mencia..."
"What's the difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with the light on."
"Dear Johnson & Johnson: Ejacu-lotion Please DM me for my address to send royalties checks."