55007

Joke of the Day

"Who makes more money, a cocaine dealer or a prostitute? A prostitute because she can always wash her crack and sell it again!"

"The reason I'm so happy today is because I got a penis enlarger... She's 18 years old!"

"Wait, I forget, what's the national pastime? Is it baseball or worrying about Jennifer Aniston's happiness?"

"I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now"

"What's the definition of ""Macho Man"" A guy who comes in 1st and 2nd in a circle jerk."

"ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? ""Haha a man obviously"" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*"

"Me: *nervous giggle* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or what? Drive-thru attendant: Please just take your food, sir."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"Why does Skeleton Soup taste so poor? It lacks body"

"what's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are $1.69 and deer nuts are under a buck"