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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth? It was accidental."

"Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!"

"What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism? Head."

"When I was 20, a stranger ran up to me in the street and said we should get a divorce. That set the tone of weirdness for my adult life."

"God all I want is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't change me."

"Facebook is like prison because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you."

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."

"I can love my son and refuse to support his lifestyle... I raised him better than to game on a console."

"Native Americans watch the movie 1492 backwards because they want to see a happy ending."

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."