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Joke of the Day

"This fly I just killed in my apartment is more talented than every celebrity that tweets on this fucking site."

"What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality"

"Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI? A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down."

"What is the difference between a fridge and a pussy? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"Mary Had a Little Lamb She also had a bear. I've seen Mary's little lamb. But, I've never seen her bear."

"What sex act did the mobster offer his boss? A goodfellatio"

"Flirting is dangerous business. One wrong move and you're committed."

"Windows: ""You may be the victim of software counterfeiting"" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I"

"So many people say ""if my memory serves me correctly"" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory......."

"What will Kayne West's political leaning be if he runs for President? West wing"