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Joke of the Day

"My brother lost his eyesight in a motorboating accident. Her nipples were pierced."

"People that say ""money doesn't buy happiness"" obviously have never been divorced."

"What did the fighter pilot do when his plane was about to crash? He ejaculated from the cockpit."

"What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug? Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically."

"My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep"

"Gonna take up smoking, just in case I have to give an anonymous tip from the shadows at some point."

"Pool Went for a swim in one of those infinity pools earlier...couldn't finish a length :-("

"Brad Pitt: lets get back together Jennifer Anniston : We broke up 12 years ago!!! Brad pitt: We were on a break!"

"How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones."

"I learned something new about Hordor (GOT SPOILERS) He's Canadian."