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Joke of the Day
"My brother lost his eyesight in a motorboating accident. Her nipples were pierced."
Next Joke
"I asked my friend ""Do you know any other word for a big rock?"" He said ""Boulder?"" I said **""Do you know any other word for a big rock?""**"
"*writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds ""resume"" to resume"
"When should a mouse carry an umbrella ? When it's raining cats and dogs !"
"Arguing with autocorrect is the new yelling at the television."
"Waits for the worst possible time to tell you that they have to pee... ~Kids"
"For yoga people He who noticed it lotused it"
"My girlfriend always wakes up with a huge smile on her face. Goddamnit, I love my Sharpie!"
"127 MILLION? How are there 127 million subscribers when the Reddit population is WAY LESS????"
"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""