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Joke of the Day

"I learned something new about Hordor (GOT SPOILERS) He's Canadian."

"I have to take a Viagra when I take an Ambien. It keeps me from rolling off the bed."

"Whenever our neighbor's dog is barking, I know there's either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened."

"My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again."

"I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"How do you make holy water? Put it in a pot and boil the hell out if it."

"WIFE: I can't believe you ruined my birthday yesterday ME: What a load of bollocks, Karen. I didn't even know it was your birthday"

"Why is the moon so grumpy? It's just going through one of its phases."

"How did Steve get the clues? Blew the dog"

"It's like the women in this bar don't know how close I am to getting my own apartment."