140649

Joke of the Day

"I heard this song by the Righteous Brothers I cant remember what its called, but it was off the chain"

"Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister. believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower."

"I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

"Writing a horror movie featuring all black actors. It's ten minutes long and everyone dies at the same time."

"My girlfriend told me all I could think about was sex... Fanny she should say that!"

"A Vietnamese couple found out they were expecting twins. It was a Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more? An extractor fan"

"Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine? It was soda pressing."

"Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine."

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous."