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Joke of the Day

"Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom."

Next Joke
 
"How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone? More than 1,000?"
"Smoke marijuana... Smoke marijuana, Take over the government, This is a high coup."
"Someone asked me when the narwhal bacons... ...my response was: ""huh?"""
"People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up"
"I walked into a bar tonight carrying some jumper cables... Bartender told me not to start any shit in here!"
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles"
"A pig walks ito a bar ot aother bar joke. Just my fuckig ' ' key is't workig."
"America, you're fired. Love, United Nations"
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *SLURP*"