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Joke of the Day
"""Does this leaf make me look fat?"" - Eve."
Next Joke
"Wife just looked at an 8""x8"" picture and estimated it to be 12""x12"". Perhaps you can see why I consider this a good thing."
"I only learned Roman numerals so I can be damn sure which Rocky I'm about to watch."
"What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?"
"What is it called when you sleep talk about your subconscious feelings ? A Freudian Sleep."
"Currently using my daughter's iTouch to read your tweets. Also, reading her emails and writing shit on her Facebook page."
"The titanic had Bluetooth It synced"
"BAlls and Pen*s are best friends Balls to penis: why the fcuk you leave me when u see a hole or 2 mountains? Penis: coz thats the only time i really need you"
"Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name? Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar."
"I'm angry that only one company makes the game monopoly."