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Joke of the Day
"Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks? So his boss doesn't have to retrain him."
Next Joke
"*points to wrist* this is my Fitbit. *points to rest of body* this is my fatbit."
"Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun) It was worth every Penne."
"BestBuy guy: ""Do you have a 'first-generation' iPod?"" Me: ""I guess so. It came on a boat from China. It doesn't have an accent or anything."""
"My husband said I was unfeminine, so I socked him in the mouth."
"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans can't milk a cow for 12 years I'm sorry"
"It's sad that they drain power from so many horses to make car engines run."
"Arguing with a greased up Asian... Can be a slippery slope."
"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves."
"The entire city of Detroit burned down last night. Estimated damage is $6."