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Joke of the Day

"A man falls over and lands on a globe. He heads to the doctors. The doctor asks what's wrong. ""I've got this spain in my arsehole."""

"*checks watch* *gets up off toilet* I don't have time for this shit"

"a jew, a christian, and a muslim walk into a bar in the holyland hey it could happen, just not on a friday, saturday or sunday"

"I'm not into phone sex, the cord always gets stuck in my ass."

"Why did the redneck cross the road? To get to the oth-TONY STEWART"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce the word ""unionized."""

"That awkward moment when someone isn't texting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile."

"What's the biggest type of tree? A Country."

"My friend told me I don't know the meaning of irony Which was really ironic because we were at a bus station."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side"