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Joke of the Day

"If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?"

"Giraffes were invented in 1780 when three horses accidentally swallowed a ladder"

"I met Jesus once but he was kind of a dick He was all ""holier-than-thou"""

"What's the difference between a cow and The Bible? You can't milk a cow for 2,000 years."

"What did ISIS say after the terrorist attack? Nice"

"I invented a time machine... ...next week."

"I created a new word today. Plagiarism."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger sings ""eh you, get offa mai cloud"", but the Scottish farmer says ""eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!"

"Boss: Why weren't you at work last week? Me: Why are you living in the past?"

"If laziness were an olympic discipline... ... I'd want to finish 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the medals podium..."