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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice."

"My local psychic closed down... ..due to unforeseen circumstances"

"Life is like a dick. If it's soft, you can't beat it, but when it's hard, somebody's gonna get fucked."

"My salad for lunch is missing one key ingredient which would make it perfect. Donuts."

"How are burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend related? All come from not pulling out on time."

"Always remember, there's someone out there for everyone... You'll probably never find them and die alone, but they're out there."

"How to know she's the one? Jerk off twice and if you still wanna jerk off, then She is."

"I dont downvote It's bad karma."

"Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)"

"What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional."