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Joke of the Day

"Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)"

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says ""I'll have an H2O"" The second one orders a beer."

"Statistics never show how many accidents each year are the direct result of a guy checking out some chick's ass."

"Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac"

"E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight."

"I know Blatters are usually full of pee... but Sepp Blatter is full of shit."

"The Biggest Joke of 2016 Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve"

"Cold turkey is a scary concept but also an adorable image. Aww give that little guy a jacket."

"How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb? Well it depends on what you mean by change."

"God gives everyone a hot cousin to test us."