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Joke of the Day

"I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!"

"I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines."

"The guy who played Wolverine had a pet sea cow and it was stolen... It was a crime against Hugh's manatee!"

"Come forth... And God said to John ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"Marriage Law ! If you marry one girl, She will fight with you ! If you marry more, They will fight for you !"

"Hey Reddit what's the most useful type of doctor? An On-call-ogist."

"My boyfriend and I checked out a new coffee shop in town... I asked him how his coffee was. ""It's like making love in a canoe."" ""That good?"" I asked ""No. It's fucking close to water."""

"What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple."

"I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write"

"bangs are just a poor woman's botox."