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Joke of the Day

"How do you know you're at a redneck wedding? Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church"

"What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ? Ulta Magnus!"

"HANG GLIDER COP: I see a crime happening directly below me [glides on] Not much I can do"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those that get it and those that don't."

"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can't pay its student loans."

"Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"

"Ruth wasn't invited to the party. The people at the party were ruthless."

"A woman tries to flirt with a depressed man suffering from ID crisis in a bar. Woman: Hey! Who's the handsome man here? And the dude goes ""Oh God! Not again! Who am I?"""

"I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window. Now my neighbors watch them 24/7."

"Don't be fooled by looks, butterflies taste just like moths."