54208

Joke of the Day

"I took my BMW to the mechanic today after a strange light came on. I asked him what it was, as I've never seen it before. Apparently it was called an indicator, does anyone know what it's for?"

"Have you heard about that new movie with the poop? Constipated? Naw, that's never gonna come out."

"Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat."

"Talking about school grades with your parents like... Parents: Got any A's this semester? Me: Go fish."

"Why don't women sleep on the left side of the bed? Because they always want to be right."

"It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough."

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? Because it says ""No Trespassing""."

"I took my kids' screens away so we could spend some quality time together and it turns out they are really terrible to be around"

"The Orthodontist wants to pull my daughter's 2 loose baby teeth & charge me $250. I bought the biggest bag of caramels I could find for $5."

"Why are men better cooks than women? Because with a sausage, a couple of eggs, and some cream, a man can keep a woman full for 9 months."